Handbook against feminicides

 “Rape culture lives on the prejudice that if a woman says no it means maybe and if she says maybe it means yes, so nothing she says in relation to her will actually has any factual value,” writes Michela Murgia in Stai zitta e altre nove frasi che non vogliamo sentire più [Shut Up and Nine Other Phrases We Never Want to Hear Again] (Einaudi, 2021).

For the theologian Marinella Perroni, this book by the Italian writer, who died at the age of 51 in 2023, is “a real manual to be studied in all schools as an antidote to the scourge of feminicides. The introduction of the book would warn boys and girls to recognise -and take seriously- the first signs of a relational toxicity that engenders violence and death sentences”. Because words count, saying them serves a purpose; of all the things women can do in the world, Murgia said, speaking is still considered the most subversive.

Perroni, who is on the steering committee of Women Church World, had for many years shared a friendship and exchanged ideas, confidences, words, and insights with Michela Murgia. Thera are many still she would like to exchange. Hence the book Colloqui non più possibili - con Michela Murgia [Talks No Longer Possible - with Michela Murgia] (Piemme, 2024), which is a touching and intimate 114-page letter to the friend who is no longer there (but is there), the story of a relationship based on culture, social commitment, feminism and faith between two women who had debated until the very end on the most diverse topics, also as believers and theological scholars. Perroni and Murgia share the same critical view of an often patriarchal Church and of power dynamics that run through the religious world, but also the conviction that faith can be an engine for change.

The title expresses with great delicacy the void left by the writer’s untimely death. But despite the fact that death makes dialogue “no longer possible”, the book becomes a way to continue that conversation, if only ideally. Perroni, through her theological expertise and sensitivity, pays a powerful and moving tribute to Murgia, and not merely commemorating her friend, but through offering a profound reflection on her contribution to the social, political and cultural issues of our time.

One of the most touching aspects of the book is Perroni’s ability to evoke Murgia’s voice. The “conversations” in fact manifest themselves through memories, reflections and exchanges of ideas that remain imprinted in the author’s memory.

Colloquies No Longer Possible is a book that touches the heart and stimulates the mind. It is a work that invites reflection on loss, but also on the continuity of thought and friendship.